Lessons from a Port-A-Potty

Last Thanksgiving, somehow I received a notice that I could get in on the Inaugural Hollywood 1/2 Marathon, 10k and 5k for half off... I jumped at the chance. While accomplishing a 5 k would have been a challenge at the time, I knew that I knew I could do it... sooooo... I signed myself and my husband up for the 10k... something to really challenge me and to work toward.

My husband has always worked hard at being a runner and had even run the San Diego Rock ‘n Roll Marathon… I looked up to that greatly. I would think of how cool it would be for us to go for a jog together, and thought that someday I would run the Rock ‘n Roll ½ Marathon with him. It was just something on my bucket list. This 10k helped me move this though into a reality. We would soon find ourselves a hotel and planning our first ever night out of town without the kids. Whoo-Hoo!

Ok, so now both of us had some set-backs… for me I suffered from Plantar Faciatis, an incredibly stabbing pain in my foot, and for my husband, an injured hip flexor muscle. The kids and I had rotated a cold around between us that made getting any training time impossible for about a month before the big race… but with intensity I tried my hardest to get distance in my training…

I was nervous. I wanted to finish the entire 10k in less than 90 minutes. One day on the treadmill I did the 6.2 miles in 79 minutes… well, at least I knew it was possible, but that was the only time I had come close to doing the complete length… BUT, knowing that in the excitement of cheering crowds and other runners, I was likely to do a better time, I thought it would be really cool to complete the 10k in less than 80 minutes…

On the morning of the race day, I was nervous… almost feeling like an imposter of a runner… I am not the skinny runner type… but…. Runners come in all sizes and shapes right? I dragged my poor husband down to McDonalds for a quick breakfast of marginal-tasting oatmeal and a 20 oz coffee (for energy right?) We went back up to the room to eat and watch the ½ Marathoners pass by our window… I was starting to get pumped now… I carefully placed my bib number (8061) on my chest, went to the bathroom, “one last time” and made the trek back downstairs toward the starting line… I started to stretch and get warmed up. I chanted to myself “I think I can, I think I can” and “Slow and steady wins the race!” I found it amazing how one can apply such elementary stories into everyday challenges … with only 15 minutes to the start of the race, wouldn’t you know… I had to use the bathroom ( I guess that is why people only use energy shots instead of drinking 20 oz of coffee). Only, there were not potties close by, and all the restaurants like Starbucks and Jamba Juice had lines 20 deep. I thought it was only 6 miles, I could hold it… Right???

I started the race strong, but around 2 miles started feeling a bit fatigued… I wanted to walk, just a minute… I did, but found that with everyone else running around me, I found my wind after just a minute… there came a time that I thought I couldn’t possibly stop running until I found a Port-A-Potty… which I did around mile 3… I stopped and found that in a race, people don’t care where their aim is… it was super gross! How was I going to do this? I held on with all my might to a couple of handles on the door, and as I pulled myself back into a standing position, I noticed a mirror, but did not recognize the person looking back at me. That person was full of focus and determination, a real athlete… This was a pivotal moment for me… I became the Runner, not an imposter!

From that moment on, I was able to hit a stride that was perfect for me and allowed me to run the rest of the race at an incredibly comfortable pace. With the sun at my back, I began chasing myself… I loved my shadow at that moment, the physic… curvy, and slender, very athletic… I was beginning to see myself in a new light, really the body I am chasing, eventually I will reach it, but it became my motivation to keep moving.

I could see the finish line on the horizon and I looked up to see my dear husband on the sidelines. I will never forget his reaction when he saw me coming up… “WOW! You are doing really good!” He was completely surprised at my progress… That pleased my soul very much.

As I came up to the finish line, and I could see the official time clock, I could not help but to grin… but the closer I got, the bigger my smile got, and it took everything in me to hold back tears… I did it! I finished my first 10k in 69.35minutes and was 764 out of 1350 runners… right in the middle of the pack…

I am proud of my accomplishment! But I am more proud at the transformation of my mind that occurred in no other place than a Port-A-Potty…

Reflections

As I sit here on New Year's Eve... surrounded by my family who is barely hanging on for the mid-night hour, I am contemplating the past year and reflecting on the lessons learned and the blessings had.

I started the year learning how important it is to live outside of oneself... I am not the center of the universe... and a little Toyota Prius taught that to me one day as I was completely annoyed with the population around me... I learned the Jesus Creed: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and all your mind... and love your neighbor as yourself." That was a hard thing to learn in this society. I am not perfect by any means, but I am a far cry from where I was then... for sure.

I learned how exciting and riveting the Bible can be through a study of Romans I was doing with a wonderful group of ladies I had been studying with for almost 4 years. As the studies were getting ready to pick up once again in the beginning of the school year, I made a difficult decision to move on to BSF, a very intense study of Acts and the Epistles, which coincidentally enough was the same message that was in the Leadership Summit and also in our Sunday services... all echoing the Jesus Creed... I definitely was feeling that the Lord was preparing me for some sort of ministry with a particular group of people that live in my city... I have developed relationships with a new group of women in my BSF small group, learning that God really puts you where you really need to be.

I learned this spring that my daughter has distinctive tastes, to say the least... We started Occupational Therapy trying to expand her food and taste horizons. It was slightly effective. We got Kassie to eat noodles, and eggs and pudding... and to start brushing her teeth with toothpaste, training toothpaste, but toothpaste none the less... it is the small victories.

The girls both started school in the 1st and 3rd grade, full time school... I was a little uneasy at first about my baby growing up, but I guess that is life... just have to cherish all moments little and big with them. Time is fleeting.

Last January, I started another journey, that of Weight Watchers... I lost 30 pounds so far....

Chip's travel has settled a bit more this year than that of last year, although he was gone for a while, just not as much time consecutively. BUT, we did have our first overnight date together... EVER! So much fun! So nice to reconnect with my husband:-)

And of course our big change... WE BOUGHT OUR FIRST HOUSE. It is really crazy knowing that no one can tell us we need to move... it is ours. In fact, a sad but crazy moment was when our beloved cat Peaches passed away at home, and I asked Chip what do we do with her remains? He just simply said I will go get the shovel... how simple an answer, but it is something we can do now... we now have her in her own special spot to one day be in the shade of a peach tree.

In the shadows of buying a house, this December, we needed to get a new transmission in our van. This was a crazy emotional roller coaster. We just didn't have that much left in our emergency savings account. Chip was on travel during this time. I thought I was putting all this in God's hands, but you know... I wasn't completely giving it over to Him... I was still planning... I emptied all savings and had a plan to put the remainder of the balance on a credit card... this card was evil, I tell you... after an incredibly humiliating moment, I took a leap of faith and just paid the remainder out of our checking account, thinking my family just would not be able to eat for the next few weeks. You know, I think it was God... He wanted me to completely put my faith in Him. After a couple of days in a complete daze, I have never been put in this position before, I was able to sit down and figure out our finances and pull together more cash that I had around the house... I found that we were going to be ok... tight but ok... then the miracles happened... We received a blank envelope with only our address typed on it... when I opened this envelope, there was 1 sheet of paper with Merry Christmas typed on it and out fell 2 $100 bills... I was in tears, and Chip was in disbelief... speechless was what we were... what a lesson for our kids as well... I realized, for myself (I have heard and believed but didn't live like it) that our money is not ours... it is Gods... and God is incredibly good...

As for this year, I am not making resolutions, but want to take what I have learned and build on them... I am committing to live my life learning more about our incredible God, learning to fully lean on God for everything, be prayerful in all things... I am committing to get even more healthy and loose more weight, eat healthy and be active. (I am training for a 10k run through the Hollywood Walk of Fame) I am committing to get down to the nitty-gritty and get our family our of debt... we are making cuts, and I am looking at working part-time on a temporary basis until we are debt free... the only way to live... I am committing to cherishing more of husband and my baby girls who will not be babies for much longer...

Happy 2012!

Mommy's 9/11 Memories

A while back, I started to write down my memories of 9/11 for the benefit of my 2 little girls. I wanted to preserve the reality of the events that happened that day... so here I share them.

9-11-2001

Mom’s Memoirs

Tuesday, September 11, 2001 started like any other morning… The alarm went off at 5:50am and I hit the snooze alarm for that extra 10 minutes of sleep. The alarm went off again so I stumbled out of the bed to start my morning routine, and turned on the television. I had a particularly unusual day ahead of me, as I had an interview scheduled with a couple of ladies that were deaf and were particularly pushy with their disability. I knew that we had to do the whole registration process for Spherion in 2 hours or less, since that was all we were authorized to pay to the Sign Language Interpreter’s services.

The time was 6am, I normally watched the news in the morning, but didn’t even think much that the Today show was on a bit early, that is until I paid attention to the story they were reporting. There were pictures of one of the World Trade Center towers in flames, which grabbed my curiosity. I sat on the bed to see what was going on, and frankly the news media was a bit unsure and only had reports that possibly a plane had slammed into the side of it. Knowing that I had a limited time to get ready for work, I took probably the quickest shower ever. I am such a news junkie and needed to get back to see really what was going on to that I could be completely informed when I got to work.

I quickly returned to our bedroom where I would get dressed in front of the TV. I had picked out a very professional purple suit with a matching scarf. What I saw next would forever burn a memory in my head. As the cameras were focused on the burning building, a second full sized commercial airplane slammed into the other building. That is right; it played out on national television. NBC television scrambled to find any and all information they could about the events, but one thing was clear, this was an act of terrorism.

NBC cut away to their Pentagon correspondent to get the reaction of those there. Jim Maclecheviski (not sure about his spelling of his name) suddenly heard and felt an explosion that rocked the whole building. No one was for sure what had just happened, but the rumors once again flowed, suggesting this too was a plane crashing into a building. At this point there were rumors flying everywhere, including that there were over 20 airplanes that were missing and unaccounted for. I could not help but feel extremely scared, could we (San Diego) be the next target?

My time was running short and I was already going to be late. I ran to my car and turned on AM radio AM 600 KOGO for the news. My car only got AM radio at that time, but it wouldn’t matter that much anyway, all radio stations were tuned into KOGO. Not 5 minutes into my commute (about 40 minutes), I heard that another plane crashed in a field just outside Pennsylvania. Wow, Baris (my co-worker) was from Pennsylvania, we really are going to have something to talk about.

Then, as I was battling the bumper-to-bumper traffic going over the hill on the 52, the first tower fell. I felt the goose bumps rise back on my arms, got butterflies in my stomach, and felt the tears roll down my cheeks. My thoughts were with all the innocent victims that had no chance to get out of the building. I had been on top of the World Trade Center when I was in transition between the 6^th and 7^th grade. They were very tall and had a huge number of visitors and tourists.

The parking lot at work, which was an rather large business complex, was empty, but yet my office (a staffing agency) all reported to work. The president of our company told us we were to report to work, or face consequences… after all, there may be that slight chance a client may have some staffing needs. I was totally disappointed with this announcement as all I wanted was to be with my husband who was sent home from work as he was considered “non-essential” personnel on the Navy Base.

As we entered the door, all 5 of us stood in the lobby dumbfounded and trying to understand what was happening and what to expect next. Our 2 ladies did show up, and we did the interviewing process… mostly with our minds in other places. However, they were they only business related contact we had all day. The phones never rang once (except for the occasional personal call), and the lobby stayed vacant, yet we were not allowed to leave. We tuned our radios in to find out the latest, but that just didn’t seem to be enough, and at that point found the 2^nd building had fallen. Our office had a very outdated television for training videos, and so we tried watching television on it… it worked, if we could see past snowy transmission. We wept as we saw the devastation.

This was truly the longest work day ever! We tried to order food in, but Dominos, Pizza Hut and the usual delivery places were closed… we had to actually go and pick up some food. We huddled around more, in complete disbelief.

Since this was a Tuesday, and I was working with the Middle School girls at Journey Community Church at that time, my husband and I made great effort to make it to church that night. Somehow, it was just the most appropriate place to be. Everyone there was scrambling for information, and seeking comfort as much as the next guy, but there was a greater feeling that God was there at what would become known as Ground Zero. We all prayed and prayed. I can’t say healing and immediate comfort happened, but I can say we felt God’s presence.

For several months after 9/11/01, I remember the feeling of fear as I drove past Marine Corp Air Station, Miramar, just knowing that for sure could be the next target… that somehow there was some chemical/biological warfare… so I held my breath as I passed by. I know this was crazy, but it made me somehow feel a tiny bit more secure.

Our lives have forever changed. America continues to be vigilant about monitoring our safety and security, and for a brief moment, it seemed as if a great revival and unity was taking place… all part of God’s handiwork.

0 to 95 in 1.5 seconds

Today was the first day... the first day for EVERYTHING!!! Katie started school today as a 3rd grader and Kassie is no longer a baby... she started 1st grade, making her a full fledged elementary student. Now, I should have been rejoicing that both kiddos were in school full time (I actually had mixed feelings about this), but that was not an option... no time to stand still...

After all the school supplies were separated, and hugs and kisses given, it was time to leave them be in the loving care of their teachers. So I went to Starbucks with some other moms to catch up on their summer antics and to compare their 1st impressions they gave their teachers... one mom introduced herself and was the eager volunteer... another said to the teacher "oh and by the way there is a restraining order..." myself, well first thing out of my mouth was to ask about taking Kassie out of school every Monday at 2pm for the next 10 weeks for Occupational Therapy for her extreme picky eating... and yes, I do understand that EVERYTHING that is done in the classroom is important and done for a reason... great first impression...

The kids going back to school also marked a recommitment to myself... I got myself to the gym and then to Weight Watchers... where I was super glad that I only gained 3.8 lbs over the last 4 weeks which included my 2 week vacation to the East Coast where I dined on Whoopie Pies and Lobster and Clam rolls, Lobster mac-n-cheese and the like... yumm...

Tonight was also the first night of the 2011-12 AWANA year. As Director of Cubbies, I had a lot of loose ends to tie up and a classroom that needed to get organized. I spent 2 hours taking care of business at the church. Nervious about volunteers, God provided the leaders that we needed. I now have to sit down to see where we stand in our ratios... and start working on grouping and name tags...

I am home now, and the kids are asleep from their busy day, I am reflecting on the fact that tonight I am just plain tired and it feels super good to put my feet up and relax... but really I managed to get through the day with out flipping out and stressing too badly... God is good!!!!

Please wait.... processing.... processing... processing...

So today has proven to be a very contemplative day for me... very emotional at times... so I am going to just spill it...

Contemplation #1
Last week, Kassie (6) had a wicked fever, which had gotten up to 104.8. Kassie has always been very difficult to give medicine to, so Chip and I brainstormed ways to get either Motrin or Tylenol in her to gain control over this fever. Needless to say, we tried the tried and true liquid after a very faulty bout with the chewable, and I wore about half of it... this struggle is nothing new with Kassie. I did take her into the doctor the next day to find out that she had Strep and needed antibiotics. OH THE HORROR! She chose to take, and even pinkie swore to the Doctor that she would take the chewable version three times a day. HA! yeah right! Each time I give her her medicine, it takes the better part of an hour plus... I get super frustrated and a very ugly side of me comes out of the woodwork, one that I would disown in a heartbeat. Kassie's aversion goes far beyond just medicine. She is very particular about her food and can tell the slightest difference between brands and will not eat but a few particular foods. To many this may just be a picky eater, but after this horrible experience with her antibiotics, I could not help but think there is more to her pickiness than we thought... I started to do some research on sensory overload and ended up with what pretty much described Kassie... Oral Hypersensitivity … http://costellokids.com/therapy/oral_hypersensitivity.html while a few things don’t quite fit, the majority does… if you think about it, she doesn’t like the cup to touch her lips, she needs straws, she eats her nuggets off of her fork with her teeth not her lips, not liking to brush her teeth w/ toothpaste, or for that matter liking my breath right after I brush mine…”too minty”, and will not allow water to get on her face/ears which makes washing hair difficult… I had a sense of relief that there was a name for her actions and a reason... and that we could get some assistance through behavioral therapy to normalize her eating habits. Then the rush of emotions changed... There was something wrong with my precious little girl... and because of that, how could I possibly have gotten so angry at her for doing something she couldn't help but do... then I would switch back to relief and then back to grief... AHHH.... In the mean time, I will just focus on getting our doctor appointment to discuss these issues with her doctor and try to get therapy started as soon as possible.

Contemplation #2
Of course the most major breaking news for the last day or so has been that US Navy Special Forces has killed and taken custody of Osama Bin Ladin. For me this is a completely surreal event. For almost 10 years we have been trying to catch this guy and all of a sudden we have him.... and he is dead. While I contemplated whether or not this was real or could this be an elaborate plot for something else... like the script of Borne Supremacy, complete with plastic surgery... I was really struggling with the whole death aspect, and do WE have the right to take a life, even if he was an evil man? Given that our last study in my Small Group Bible Study was Romans 12:21 "²¹ Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good". I sat down to do my Bible Study today which was Romans 13:1-7 which speaks on the role of civil government... In particular verses 1 and 2..."Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. ² So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished." God's timing is perfect. The leaders of our country, whether we like it or not... were ordained by God, thus we need to submit to their decisions, which are God's ultimate decisions... I soon realized that what I was most uncomfortable with was the flippant reaction a lot of Americans were having... the "let's party" attitude was a bit over the top. First of all, we Americans all felt such a huge loss Sept. 11, 2001 and many more since then... I get that. But if the shoe were on the other foot, and Osama's people killed an American and celebrated the way we did, we would be outraged to take action. What complete disrespect for others... But what really got to me was the fact that the people who were out, seemingly were out to either be on TV, or to have a reason to party. I have a real hard time with people who use the "we" when speaking of a major feat... People tend really do this during various sporting events... I mean, did you really play on the football field? And except for a few... did you really go out and take down the most wanted man in the world? NO, I didn't think so, so lets just drop the "we" speak, and be a little more respectful and put into effect Romans 12:21.

Contemplation #3
OH MY GOODNESS! We are about to become homeowners for the very first time. For the 3rd time, we were asked to leave our home by our landlords. This time as a result of a divorce and one of them wanting to move back into this house. At first we were dumbfounded, but knew that God had been working on us for a while. About 6 months ago we contemplated moving into an apartment to save some more money to buy a house, but never acted. God knew that unless there were extreme circumstances, we would stay status-quo... so he shook things up a bit... After looking at various rental properties, we decided that for about what we are currently paying for rent, we could get into a home of our own... and this includes the taxes and insurance... we jumped, got qualified and started looking. near the end of the first day we found a very strong contender... then next day we looked at one more house and then took the girls back to look at the house we liked from the first day... that was it... we put in an offer and TA-DAH! here we are, about to close escrow on our first home... and the thing I am most looking forward to doing is painting my girls' room colors of their own! God is good!

Reflective Thoughts

Everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing on Sept. 11, 2001... For me, I was getting ready for work. After getting out of the shower, I switched on The Today Show and watched as the second airplane smashed into the World Trade Center. I listened to the radio the entire commute into work... listened in disbelief as buildings came crumbling down... in tears, fearful, but overall prayerful. Our work day was incredibly dead, there was not even one phone call that was not a personal call... yet we were not allowed to leave so we were glued to an extremely snowy television, wondering what our safe little world was coming to. Living in a large Military town with several prominent tourist attractions, it took me about a year before I felt comfortable actually visiting these places, and even several months to feel safe to shop at any of our shopping malls.

Today, we have received a little bit of relief. Osama Bin Laden has been killed and been taken into custody by US Military. It is a bit strange to see so many people celebrating the death of an individual this way. People are gathering in public places chanting "USA!" This is a great day for our nation!!!! Today, a bad man is no more... a small sense of security has been re-established. Patriotism is raging hot...

For me, the wife of a retired US Navy Chief Petty Officer and step-mom of a US Marine, I could not be prouder of the brave men and women who continually put their lives on the line for this moment! THANK-YOU!

Romans 6:23 (New Living Translation)

²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

Change Please

My good friend came to visit me this weekend as both our husbands are away at the moment. Tonight after taking the girls to Children's Choir, we came home and I was in the process of yelling at them to get into their pajamas. It was at that point that my friend and I had not participated in our tradition, a trip to Yogurt Mill...

Being the cool mommy, I told the girls to put on shoes and get their coats on, we were going somewhere... Katie was sporting her peace pjs with her black over the calf boots and her winter coat... she rocked the look... Kassie was sporting her pink night gown, and tennis shoes and her winter coat. I didn't tell them where we were going so the girls turned into little detectives. Katie grabbed her notebook and red pen and both started asking me questions...a million questions... all the way to Yogurt Mill... Such a good memory moment.

As normal, there is always a person begging for extra change as you exit. I told him I didn't have any change but... I reached into my purse and pulled out a gift card to McDonald's. As we walked away, Katie looked at me and said, "mom, good job loving your neighbor!" This made me smile more than the act of giving the gift card away... and then a dialogue was then opened for us to talk about how God had put it on my heart to buy gifts cards and the reasoning behind them...

See at church we have been doing an in depth study of the Jesus Creed.

Here oh Israel, The Lord our God, the Lord is One
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul,
with all your mind and all your strength, the second is this
Love your neighbor as yourself, there is no commandment
greater than these.

As a parent, I strive to teach my children life lessons and have the responsibility to mold them spiritually. Little did I know that one simple act of kindness would have resonated so well in one little 8 year old's mind, life applications, the best way to teach a lesson. Katie made me a proud mommy to see her notice a Jesus Creed moment. Love that child:-)